I’ll be honest with you, blogs are totally lame.

For starters, most of the people in the blogosphere (that’s what the kids call it) are lame. Garbage in, garbage out.

I don’t even read blogs. I could follow a good porn star blog, but they all seem to prefer a more “picture oriented” medium compared to the “writing” type of affair.

The non-blogger probably doesn’t know this, but places like Word Press actually feed blog topics to the writers.

That’s right. Once you’ve run out of political rants, conspiracy theories, something your kids/parents did and a whole lot of pointless navel gazing you can pick up a suggested idea from your friendly blog provider.

What did they send me today?

“Would you climb a mountain or run a marathon?”

Uh, hell no.

First off, this body runs on a steady diet of bourbon and cigarettes. That’s not the breakfast, lunch or dinner of the physically active.

There’s a marathon in Colorado where they actually run up Pike’s Peak. Yes, a mountain climbing marathon. I once tried to drive to the top of Pike’s Peak but I got bored and turned around before I reached the top.

I attempted a marathon once on New Year’s Day. It was a 24-hour Seinfeld marathon on TNT. I was wiped out by the 4th hour and couldn’t finish it.

“What holiday tradition does your family celebrate?”

Shame and blame.

“How do you save money?”

I harvest the neighborhood squirrels.

“If you were a flower, what would it be?”

Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. Who the fuck would take that idea and run with it?

Thanks Word Press.

It’s good to know that if the well of creativity ever runs dry you’ll be there with a cement truck.