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H+D The formulas

While our hero and her poet both found themselves at the end on the exact same day, there was quite a journey they each still had to travel alone.

Everyone’s end leads to an unraveling and, unfortunately, while getting married is supposed to be all about the big love, getting un-married is all about dissolving a business and heavy self-maintenance.

The hero, was a bit ballsier than the poet.

She packed her things. She left. She suffered through a few failed reconciliations but most importantly, when things were final, she went to work.

It was an arduous and painful process to realize who she truly was and her worth in the world. Experts were consulted at length. Flow charts were crafted on bright pink poster board. Some days she wanted to quit but as the months shifted into years… She emerged better than ever.

The poet’s path meandered.

He did the work, too. But he did it mostly on his own through books and journaling, self-teaching himself where he went wrong and how he would avoid bad patterns in the future.

The navel gazing was intense at times but he soldiered on with one goal in mind:

To be ready for real love if he was blessed enough to find it again.

Two very different paths were taken by the hero and the poet but the final destination was the same.

Co-dependency was an issue.

Putting up with the intolerable to save face was a problem.

Maintaining boundaries was difficult.

But the twists and the turns in their journey lead them to one simple formula:

Events + Reactions = Outcome

Mathematics is a beautiful thing. The rules are simple an elegant and never change. I, however, got a D in algebra and lean more towards words. And so… Let me take the simplicity of E+R=O and complicate it.

An event will occur over which we have no control.

You can not keep a person sober.

You can not make a person be attentive.

You can not make a person love themselves.

You can not prevent a storm from hitting your home.

You can not force a person to stay faithful.

You can not make pizza rolls from scratch (trust me, this is impossible for anyone).

But you can control your reactions to these events.

You can accept it.

You can leave.

You can throw people out.

You can move on.

You can purchase insurance.

You can get off the couch, go to store and buy some Totino’s Pizza Rolls (I highly suggest the “supreme” variety).

And your reactions will determine your outcome.

Let them keep dulling their sense with drugs and alcohol? I hope you enjoy living a life well wasted.

Let them act like children? I guess you will get good at cleaning up someone else’s messes.

Let them put you second in life? Yah, maybe misery and feeling unloved is sort of your thing.

Attempt to make your own pizza rolls? Seriously, go to the fucking store.

“E+R=O” — You should memorize this. You should live this. You should share this.

There is one other formula to learn. It is a formula that our poet found all by himself. And when he finally found our hero…

He decided to dedicate the rest of his life to teaching her this secret:

“Love Conquers All”

The poet learned that no matter what got in his way, he could work around it, repair it, tear it down, set it on fire… Because Love Conquers All.

Distances? He knew how to travel.

Unruly dogs? He knew how to train them.

Hurting children? He knew how to love them.

Starvation? He could cook like a mother fucker.

Deadly diseases and mild conditions? He knew how to go to the doctor.

Money? He knew how to provide.

Problems? He knew how to listen and understand.

And with the secret “Love Conquers All” he pushed forward in life looking for someone who had also reached their end and was ready to begin anew.

And when he found her, he told her, like I am telling you now:

“Nothing really can stop us. Love Conquers All. And because I love you, I will let you conquer me.”

About Suburban War Lord

Suburban War Lord

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