I wish the subject of Newt Gingrich divorcing that one wife on her death bed had come up in the debates.

Newt: She didn’t die so you can’t call it a death bed

Mitt: This is why I keep a couple of spare wives…

Cain: What did the women you sexually harassed say about that?

Perry: If I did that my twink boyfriend would never forgive me

Ron Paul: My zombie hordes would have made sure she was dead

Huntsman: Hey guys, I’m still here

Bachman: If I were president any woman who tempted a man would be punished with stoning

Cain: What if you coerce her into tempting you?

Perry: What about guys who like guys?

Bachman: My husband will personally root out all homosexuality if I’m elected

Perry: What’s his number?

Ron Paul: Brains, my supporters need brains

Mitt: Geez, I thought I won this primary months ago, FOX told me I won