Dear Abby: I’m a 16-year-old girl who accidentally left my diary on the counter and my mother read it. When she told me, I was disappointed and hurt. To me, a diary is a place I can escape to and feel comfortable just being me. She now knows I struggle with depression and have done things I’m not proud of. I was angry and expected an apology because it was a violation of my privacy.

She claims she had the right to read it because I left it on the counter, and if I didn’t want her to see it, I shouldn’t have left it there. Regardless of where my diary was, I don’t feel she had the right to go through it because it’s not hers.

I told her I want an apology and I am willing to rebuild that trust. My mom said there is no reason to rebuild it or to apologize, and she did nothing wrong. Am I wrong for wanting an apology and a better explanation for why she did it?

– DISAPPOINTED DAUGHTER

Lazlo says:

Hey, yer only 16. That means your parents own you. They can do whatever they want to make your life as shitty as possible.

But you need to wisen up. Keep writing in that diary, just change the subject. I suggest writing about how you’re mom’s friends think she’s getting fat, your father’s car has another woman’s hair all over the back seat and don’t forget to get really graphic about “the voices in your head”.

Dear Abby: My husband died recently in a fire he started in a drunken rampage. In the aftermath I am left with feelings of extreme sadness and rage.

Last night I was going through a box of his belongings and found some old letters he had written to a woman he’d left me for 20 years ago. (We patched things up and then were married later.) I didn’t want to read them, but in the first letter I caught the sentence, “You are the only woman I’ve ever met who truly changed me.” I immediately tore it to shreds. There were others, but I tossed everything in the box into the trash. I couldn’t put myself through the pain.

For months, I have tried to dwell only on the happy times we had together and the love that, in spite of his alcoholism, we had for each other. Perhaps I could have dealt with these letters while my husband was still alive, but now I can only stew in my own anger.

I don’t want to do this to myself. I have been in therapy and at Al-Anon, but I feel as though I need other tools at this point to get me through this awfulness.

– WIDOW IN ST. LOUIS

Lazlo says:

Hold up… He died “in a fire he started in a drunken rampage” ???

Fuck yah! I wish I had met this guy. I could totally party with someone like that. That is SOOOO Johnny Cash.

Can you send me some more details about the fire and how it started and why you are ultimately to blame for his drunkeness, the rampage and why that woman was so much better than you?