Dear Abby: Lazy Slob Is Feeling Lonely

garden

Dear Abby: I am a 31-year-old wife and stay-at-home mother. My husband, “Jake,” works 40-plus hours a week. My daughter, 2, keeps me on my toes. In the evenings and on weekends, Jake does yard work. I hate it because I’m with our daughter all day, every day, and he expects me to watch her while he’s outside. I dislike yard work and don’t like being outside unless I am completely comfortable. I also have health issues that keep me from being as active as I would like. I feel my resentment and anger growing over this issue. Jake says it is necessary for us to have a garden. But why must I have all the responsibility of caring for our daughter? I’d like it if Jake would give up on some of the outside activities. What do you suggest?

– Second to a Shrub in Oregon

 

Lazlo says:

Okay, I’m focusing on these two lines: “I dislike yard work and don’t like being outside unless I am completely comfortable. I also have health issues that keep me from being as active as I would like.”

These tell me everything I need to know. Your are super fat and he can’t stand looking at you. Try weight watchers, tubby.

Dear Abby: I’m A Total Whore



Dear Abby: I am 38 and have been married to a good husband and provider for 11 years. We have two beautiful children and a lovely home. We appear to be the perfect couple.

Our problem is, my husband seems to be intimidated by my sexuality. In the past, I have told my husband what pleases me. My comments made him feel inadequate, and he has completely given up. We haven’t had sex in two years. He says he would rather pleasure himself so he doesn’t have to worry that he isn’t “doing it right.”

I am a normal, red-blooded woman, and I need sex several times a month. Is that so wrong? I have resorted to having an affair with a man whose wife isn’t interested in sex, but I would prefer having a sex life with my husband.

I think my husband knows I am unfaithful. However, he accepts it because it’s easier for him to deal with than having sex with me. Is there anything I can do to make my husband try again?

– DESPARATELY SEEKING SEX

Send me an email and your picture and I’ll shop you around among the single guys at work. 

What is it your husband will not do when it comes to sexy time?

If you want him to wear a diaper and stuff then you are the problem.

If you are talking about butt stuff or maybe a quick BJ in the car wash then maybe he’s gay.