14 Songs and Love

I forget where, when or from whom I heard this but I clearly remember the actual words:

“Love is just brushing your teeth together.”

And when you are young and dumb and full of so many misconceptions about the world, those words are confusing.

You think stupid thoughts when you’re young.

You think “love” is built around a gorgeous look or a wild breathless excitement or this impossible Walt Disney inspired fairy tale.

And if you stay stupid, lists get made about what “true love” will be…

The right income.

The right car.

The right breast size.

The right height.

The right voting record.

But love is not like that at all.

Life is just more complicated than the young and foolish ever realize.

Houses flood.

People test positive.

Careers stall.

Interests change.

Opinions shift.

But love?

That shit is golden.

It sits by the side of the hospital bed with you. It pulls the disgusting wads of refuse from your flooded house. It encourages you when you are in doubt. It calms you when you are anxious. It knows when to say “yes” and it can accept hearing “no” as well.

And, yes, true love is standing there next to you in front of the bathroom mirror and happily brushing it’s teeth with you because you are there and that is all that really matters.

So when does “love” come around?

Shit, you never know. Miracles like love occur in the strangest of places and at bizarre moments in time.

When it arrives, you’ll know it.

It’s that same great jazz riff that Joshua played to knock down the walls of Jericho.

But while you wait for the music to play…

Rock out to these sweet tunes.

Mix Tape Central:

Dreams Never End – New Order

Favorite Thing – The Replacements

You Only Live Once – The Strokes

Don’t Change – INXS

She Said, She Said — The Beatles

Dirty Water – The Standells

Close to Me – The Cure

Aberdeen – Cage the Elephant

King of the Rodeo – Kings of Leon

Lucky Man – Verve

The Last Time – The Rolling Stones

Girlfriend – Matthew Sweet

Hard to Live in the City – Albert Hammond Jr

There is a Light that Never Go Out – The Smiths

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The Foulest of Fowl

Hello,

This a reminder that it is now peacock mating season.

The males are on the prowl and can be very aggressive. A full grown man, weakened by his charity MS150 bicycle ride from Houston to Austin, was recently violated by one of our feathered friends while his beer buddies looked on in horror.

Unfortunately, his attempts to discourage the mating proved unsuccessful. 

Here are some tips:

Do NOT yell, scream or try to make yourself look larger. The bird will view you as a potential rival and go “prison bull” on you. 

Do NOT fight the male peacock. A 50 pound peacock with mating intentions is stronger than a 200lb man. They have razor sharp heel spurs and will “jack you up” beyond belief.

Do NOT curl into the fetal attention and play dead. The peacock will view this as acceptance of his aggressive mating techniques. You will be ravaged in your own front yard.

Do NOT run away. The bird is faster and they can fly. They will think you are playing “hard to get” and this encourages them.

What defenses do work?

STAY INDOORS

Pretend to be a tree

Carry a fire extinguisher

Try to be unattractive

Keep a well trained, yet vicious, dog with you at all times

Good luck and be safe!